Happy and Cute

Hello everyone,

I thought I'd start with something cute and happy.

My good friend who shall remain un-named wrote me a poem. Nothing too fancy, just on myspace. It probably doesn't mean anything to her, but to me it does. I've had a lot of friend, some who I called best friends, tell me they loved me and will always be there for me. They wrote me poems and cards telling me how much they cared and that they will always be there for me to help me through anything. Rain or shine they said. 

They lied to me. They didn't stick it out with me. They left me on the floor crying and trying to find the pieces that were smashed around me. It took me what seemed like centuries to find even the larger and more obvious parts of me. I guess she has the right to leave me. I was going through a storm, with lightning and hail too. She never mentioned that.

Now that I'm almost half whole I see people in a different way. That is why what this girl did for me meant so much. Because I can see her. The real her. 

Wow! So much for happy and cute. The poem is though.

I love you.

And your blogging.

And your smooth hair.

And your dirty mind.

And your inappropriate touching.

And your brain! I LOVE YOUR BRAIN!

Yes. It really says what you think it says... =]

I will soon write more about Jessica. It doesn't mesh well with this blog. This is what I was originally was meant to write about. That worked out well for me.

Good night to you all. 

-AntidoteForTheViolentHills  

Dilemma's gone AND poem

Hi there everyone!

I found out today that Lucy isn't changing schools anymore...

So there is no dilemma. Well actually there are lots of dilemmas, it's just that this one isn't a problem anymore...

YAY for me.

On with other more un-important things. Today at school we had to write a poem.. BLAH! I hate poetry, that is unless it's Will's ; ]

I just can't write it. You should read some of the ones a few people wrote. They are so good. I feel like a grade school student compered to them. Really if I can I'll take some of them and post them.

Mine doesn't make sense unless you know the full story. Well it makes sense but you get a different story then the real one. Which I don't mind. I guess I don't like poetry because you have to put in raw feeling that is true, because if you don't write form what you know then it's not as in depth.

I remember it well,

The way you cried,

I held you and told you

Everything was going to be okay.

I lied,

You knew.

Worse things to come.

They did,

You forgot.

Hope you liked it... Well hope you didn't start crying because of how horrible it was.

Good-day to you all.

-AntidoteForTheViolentHills

Dilemma

So as you can already guess, I have a dilemma. Ok that's a lie. I have so many dilemmas that it's kind of creepy.

My first dilemma is that I know this girl, let's call her Lucy. Anyway, a while back, Lucy decided that she didn't like me anymore. I'm talking more than a year ago. Seeing as we are in the same group and sit with the same people at lunch, it gets very hard to be natural around her.

But a years worth of practice has done us good and we've perfected the art of ignoring each other.

The thing with Lucy is, is that she has the habit of calling me a 'Sl*t' and a 'B*tch'. Mind you she calls everyone that and she means it. No one knows why she didn't like me anymore. I guess it's one of life's grand mysteries.

Recently she has been saying nice things about me. Which took me by surprise and also the people she talks to.

This is where the dilemma comes in;

I want to be friends with her before Lucy changes schools [She'll be changing schools very soon]

The thing is, she has a habit of just giving you this disgusted and a 'you're not worthy of my presence' look and makes you feel like you're an ant and she's a mountain lion.

Pretty scary... Trust me... I think if I do go through with this I'll have to bring clean underwear to school.

I just don't know if I should talk to her. Even the thought of it scares the life out of me.

Tell me what you think... If anyone is even reading this.

I'll post my other dilemmas as they come.

-AntidoteForTheViolentHills

Jessica

All schools are the same. Whether they are all-girl, all-boy, or co-ed. 

I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about;

Much too strict code of conduct.

Annoying students increasing at an alarming rate.

Homework overload [Not that you ALWAYS do it]

Loveable and Hateable teachers.

And the best friend that sometimes makes you wonder why you actually hang out with her because she hurts you [emotionally not physically] 

They always know how to hurt you the most, because they know you the most. 

It's very hard to say something because they're your friend. So what do you do?

Nothing.

It just eats at you and eats at you until you decide to write a blog and you realise that you really don't have anything to write about except your best friends woeful mistakes towards you. 

Then you feel even more stupid for even starting the silly blog but wont give up because you'd feel even stupider to stop. 

This girl, let's call her Jessica, just doesn't seem to get that she's doing something that's hurting her friends. The group that she sits with at lunch. could she really be this oblivious to her actions even while she herself, complains about another friend of hers that is doing a very similar thing to her. 

I guess it happens.

I hate schools.